If a divorced dad finds out that a child from the marriage belongs to another man, should he still pay child support? A recent judgment handed down from the Ontario Supreme court ruled that divorcee Pasqualino Cornelio continue to pay child support for his 16-year old twins even though paternity DNA testing revealed that he is not in fact the twins’ biological father. The original conflict arose when, after a successful separation agreement involving joint child custody, Cornelio’s ex-wife demanded an increase in child support payments and a decrease in paternal visitation. In response, Cornelio acted on an earlier suspicion that the children may have been conceived outside the marriage and used a paternity kit to verify that the children were actually from an extra-marital affair. The judge in the case ruled that Cornelio is legally the father even though he was not the biological father and therefore is still responsible for any support the children must legally receive. Cornelio was also denied a request for back-payment of previous financial support.
The Supreme Court’s ruling has chilling implications for any male who has either “stepped up” to help raise another man’s children or suspects his wife / common-law partner of infidelity. Hypothetically, a woman can cheat on her partner, fail to disclose the true paternity of the child and reasonably expect full support for the children when her partnership dissolves. The man responsible for creating the children would escape responsibility while the man who acted in good faith bears the financial burden.
While the Cornelio case is not paternity fraud by strict definition (the mother must intend to deceive the would-be father, whereas Cornelio’s ex says she “forgot” about the affair), several high-profile cases in the United States have resulted in non-biological fathers being required to continue child support payments despite deliberate deception by the mother. Do the American and Canadian systems reward paternity fraud?
The counter-argument to genetic-based paternity rights is that fatherhood should be defined not by blood but by the length and quality of the relationship between the man and child. Family bonding takes place via actions over the length of a child’s life and does not require a confirmation of heredity. Suddenly discovering the lack of blood ties does not erase history, nor should the supporting parent try to erase this history by demanding back-payment. Many U.S. states have a presumption of paternity and do not even permit a married man to use DNA evidence in rebuttal.
In short, your father is the man who raised you – nearly every child assumes this until told otherwise. The non-biological definition of family seems better-suited to a society where transnational adoptions, blended families and same-sex marriages are becoming commonplace. Legally declaring parenthood strictly along hereditary lines could lead a torrent of court challenges from households that don’t fit the standard nuclear family image.
Despite court challenges by Pasqualino Cornelio and others who have been duped into supporting non-biological children, the overlying lesson seems to be that if a man is unsure about the paternity of his child then a paternity test should be demanded immediately. During separation or divorce, family courts make a conscious effort to make decisions in the best interest of the children. The essential needs of a child will almost always take precedence over a jilted man’s desire to punish a deceitful ex.
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I was actually considering doing a write-up on this story: I saw it on the Italian station (I’m part Italian). This story gives quite a new meaning to the term “Divorce Italian Style.”
In any event, it’s a complicated case. At first I felt that Mr. Cornelio should have been exonerated from making child support payments. Then however I learned that apparently while he had always suspected the children were not his biologically, he had sought joint custody of them. So I think if he took that step he should always be considered legally their father with that role’s attendant rights and responsibilities.
I know that in Anglo-Saxon law a child born in a marriage is presumed to be the child of the mother’s husband, even if in reality the child was conceived by adulterous intercourse, artificial insemination or rape. In the latter two cases I think the woman’s husband should be considered legally the baby’s father (unless she had artificial insemination without telling her husband, a rather improbable scenario). What if however the man discovers he’s not the biological father of his wife’s children? In that case, I believe he should be presented with two options, which should be ratified by paperwork and notarized. If he chooses not to recognize the children (which he may very well do if he feels embittered towards their mother), he should be relieved of any responsibility towards them, financial, emotional, etcetera, but then he is not entitled to any form of custody of them (or visitation) without the mother’s consent. If he chooses to recognize them as his children, however, he will continue as their legal father, again with all attendant rights and responsibilities.
I know there’s the argument that the child’s interests should take precedence over heredity or over the jilted husband’s resentment against his ex-wife. However, there are many situations where a woman knowingly puts herself in a situation where she cannot get financial support from the father. For example, if she has artificial insemination from an unknown donor, there is no way she can sue for support from him. So if a married woman cheats on her husband, she takes the risk that maybe she can’t get child support if he finds out.
Anyway, this is just my opinion!
Man….this seems like something that men may need to start adding to pre-nuptual agreements. If the kid(s) turn out to be from someone else …..
Each individual would need to fill that blank. Personally…I would feel bad to cut a child off….but it would be done on MY TERMS. What the kid needs….I go and buy myself…not one damn dime lands in the palm of that @#$%#! that went behind my back and got knocked up by some other dude.
This is a sad case really.
As for getting with a woman that has kids already….forget it…I dont ever want to do that. Women with kids just may start pulling things… hunting for a man….then get him…the kick him out her life…then hold her hand out and have the court’s backing. I really hope that sh!t doesn’t become common.
Anyways…like that ridiculous case in Quebec where the child successfully took her dad to court to get a grounding lifted….lets hope this crap never ever happens again (goes to court and prevails) and judges are smarter in the future.
B
The law should balance interests by giving a man a limited time to seek disestablishment of paternity–after he had strong reason to know of his non-paternity. Otherwise, a man can hide behind the log, willing to support the children while he enjoys the benefits of marriage, then ambushes the mother when the divorce comes. And why require a man to show fraud, when all he really should need to show is mistake and clean hands?
Erik’s idea sounds reasonable to me. I think the premise should be that his doubts are proven by a DNA test (and in reality, in 70% of cases, paternity tests show that the child really is the biological offspring of the man requesting the test) or if the mother refuses to let the child undergo the test (which in itself is suspicious – I mean if she “innocent,” why should she be reluctant to have her child take it?). I think though that the man should be required to show fraud. As I mentions, 70% of paternity test turn out to be “mistaken” – the man’s doubts are found to be misplaced. And of course there are jealous men who suspect that their wife/girlfriend is having an affair even if she talks to another man (I know; I dated a guy like this). But if it happens the child is not his, he should be allowed to disestablish paternity.
My husband has been raising a child that he recently found out is not biologically his own. His ex definitely duped him. He wants to remain her father but the moral issue has arisen–when and how to tell the child the truth. The mother is against her ever knowing. His daughter is only 8 and questions her identity. Her skin tone is different than her brother and the rest of the family, It is becoming more apparent that she is of a different race. I adopted my daughter at the age of 8 from a third world country. My daughter is adament that the child needs to know sooner rather than later.
Some opinions would be helpful. Unfortunately, we have to go to court to get the “right” to be honest with his young daughter. How absurd!
My husband recently found out from his alledged daughter that she was told by her mother that he was not her biological father. My husband then took a paternity test and was with out a doubt not the girls father. My husband and I have both worked long hours to pay support for this child that all along knew that my husband was not her father. Now my husbands life and money (not to mention my money too!) are in the hands of a judge. The girl is 14 years old and has been taught that its ok to lie for money! I am pesimistic about the courts ruling- for my husband. This is an injustice and teaches the youth that its ok to lie!!! The only person paying for the mothers lies is my husband and me! The money we spent raising another mans child could have been put towards our own family and children. The mother has stole from more than just my husband. Truth is Truth. How can a judge rule that the truth is not JUSTICE?! Im so disappointed in our judiciary system!
My husband thought he was doing the “right thing” when he agreed to pay child support for a child that is not his. There was no question of paternity, the biological father was taken to court the same day, along with a third man for a second child. This woman knew what she was doing! Now with the economy the way it is, we face losing our home, and vehicles because the woman is making waves at the Family Responsibility office. They basically threatened to send your name into the Credit Bureau, and repossess your assets in order to pay the child support. In our late 50′s we are panicking about retirement, and our weekly floundering bank accounts! So much for thinking you may be doing some good in this world. My husband has not seen nor had contact with the child in over 2 years….can’t afford to hire a lawyer to fight to have the Court Order reversed and we wouldn’t win anyways, cause they do the best for the child. Meanwhile the mother gets 2 child supports, income from a property she owns and lives common-law so that that poor sucker pays the bills….There is no justice in our society. The good guy always gets @#$^% on.
I think it is insane, but this is the world that we live in.
First, where are the morals at with these woman. If you were stupid enough to spread your legs and not use protection, you should have at least had enough marbles to not bring a child into this world that you dont know who the father is. The real key is to stop sleeping around. Men have been sleeping around for years and what are you gonna do, nothing. Woman have taken on more and more of the man’s roles and I guess sleeping around was naturally going to come up.
Second, if you have raised a child for the majority of their childhood and then find out that it is not your child, I can understand how frustrating that would be. If you have raised a child for 10 plus years, how could you willingly turn your back on that child… no matter what. At that point you have already developed a bond. It is irresponsible on the fathers part to walk away. Two wrongs dont make a right… never have… never will. It is not the child’s fault that their mom was sleeping around. As a father, biological or not, dont make that child another statistic of a fatherless child when you have been the father for thier life up to that point.
I dont agree that the father should have to legally support a child that is not his, but morally stand up. If the father had an idea years earlier, he should have acted on it and had a paternity test done then. You would have avoided a lot of mess.
The other option is to move to Tennesee where they are trying to pass a law that every child born has to have a paternity test done before any man can be listed on the birth certificate.
Good luck!
This whole argument is stupid! It is realy quite simple. Men should not have to pay for kids that arent theirs and should be alowed to take a paternity test and disavow themselves of all responsibility at any time if it is discovered that they are not the father. This isn’t just individual women who are doing this to innocent men but society as a whole that are shafting men. This is basicaly not seeing men as human beings.
Paternity fraud has much father reaching damage and consequences than just the question of being biological parent or not. It is criminal act of deliberate deceit for financial gain amongst other. However, it goes much further. Crime is perpetrated not just against duped “father” but also against own children through denial of their right to know their real parent and possibly even endangering their health through lying about their true genetic origin. Add to this psychological and emotional damage to a child upon discovering that mother was lying and depriving him/her of a true parent and child’s sense of lesser self worth as the result which can all lead to all sorts of problems in later life, occasionally even to suicide.
Argument that duped man should just grin and bear it and keep being financial slave to, as is usual in most cases, not financially support children but keep the slut in “life style she is acustomed to”, is the very pointer to most of the wrongs in our society. You ladies and gentlemen daily walk on the roads. OK, so you enjoyed years of using one particular walk and then you are told that you are prohibited using it BUT you must fully mantain the cost of upkeep. Would you not complain? Most of the cases challenging paternity are beyond “father” and child bond issue because mother has already done everything possible to destroy that bond by denying contact (even when approved by the courts) and alienating the child. All she is really interested in is his money.
It goes further still. If the man was sole provider and she was kept woman, having child/ren by somebody else is act of fraudulent entrapment through deceit. He might have, if it was not for her deceit, left her and spent his money to better his own life. However you look at it she is a liar, fraudster and freeloader.
Man who is paying child support gets remarried and has his own children. His children suffer financially because quite a part of his earnings go to the Cuckoo and her kids. Therefore his is bound to years of involuntary servitude (slavery) which affects him and his family.
DNA testing at birth would eliminate most of the probelms but there must also be opportunity for restitution and punisment which will fit the crime. Anything else is just encouraging further deceit and destruction of innocent children and men.
Sorry for not continuing straight away with my comment but I fell from my chair loughing at comment that courts and system are generaly doing everything “in the best interest of the child”. Question for the person who put that up:
how much do you pay your shrink?
I’d ask for money back.
“family” courts are nothing but the front for criminal fraternity of divorce industry specialising in asset stripping and destruction of family. Contact with the child/ren even though is proven beyond any doubt that it is the most beneficial influence for child development and safety in child’s life, is more often than not railroaded by the mother and even when court orders are flaunted there are no reprisals. Invented allegations of abuse, fear and lot more are also used with impunity as delaying tactics in denial of contact. In many cases, without any evidence of father ever doing anything wrong, contact is granted only for couple of hours – supervised. What do you think that must seem like to the children? all the denigration of their father they hear “at home” must be true if system is so worried about their safety. Right?
Wake up to the truth people. You are not mushrooms so don’t let powers that be feed you bullshit.
I have not seen my children for almost nine years now. not because I do not want to but because of the corrupt system. I have been on 63 day hunger strike to highlight the problen and there is a gagging order issued against me telling the truth. And, for last six years I live in exile, because my life was threatened in UK. Google me.
Len Miskulin
Chairman
Live Beat Dads UK
Paternity fraud where a man is forced under the threat of incarceration by a judge to pay for a child that is not his is just a continuation of the theme of “women having rights and men having responsibilities”. I believe that all children should by law have DNA tests at birth and paternity should be established at that time. This would simply eliminate paternity fraud and give husbands, boyfriends or whatever the opportunity to make an informed choice.
To Rick,
Paternity testing all children at birth might not worth it because the fact that at most 4% of men are not the genetic fathers of the children they are raising would not justify the huge of testing. Rather, in my essay “Fatherhood Rescinded” (on this site) that men who discover they are not the fathers of their “children” should be absolved of any duty to financially support them unless they requested to do so themselves.
Emilia
Howard S v Lillian S is a paternity fraud case on appeal to NY’s highest court (NY Court of Appeals). It is a case of first impression in NY and oral argument is expected in March.
hi, i had a dna test which established that my dad is my real dad. years ago i was brainwased into believing that he was not. i suffer from schizophrenia ever since, and do not believe my dad is my real dad. i believe the truth has been hidden from me for a reason. however i will remain on medication with my so-called delusional thoughts about the identity of my dad, until i establish the truth.
I now accept that my dad is my real dad, and the dna test is accurate. Neil.
the point is with me i have schizophrenia, and suffer from delusional thoughts.
when i was a child an english car dealer sat beside me in my parent’s house [apparently a friend of my dad's]. my dad was sitting in the middle of the floor staring at him, and there were other men in the room. the car dealer told a story, that he had taken a girl to the cinema, and he was in an ad on the cinema screen riding a horse, and he had long blonde hair, and the girl [who was, as i was, sitting beside him] didnt know that that was him on the cinema screen. the car dealer had gone to seed through alcohol, and his face had a reaction to mine- a warm feeling.
a few years ago i was cycling home from town, and there was a car with an english reg stationary as i passed by. i looked in and saw someone in a sheepskin coat. as i cycled by he started the car and drove along side me at a very slow pace, then we got to a set of lights and he turned off.
i described this to a friend, and the car, and the friend recalled that a butcher in a certain area of dublin had a similar car. this intrueged me as my brother is married to a butchers daughter in the same area. that butchers competition.
ive had these thoughts for 17years, since i was working in a branch of my dad’s workplace, the staff there mentally tortured me, and then very cleverly put the notion in my head that the car dealer was my dad, in such a way that would leave no come back to them.
i accused my dad of this, and ended up in a mental hospital, getting the diagnosis schizophrenia, and on medication ever since.
when i was working in London in 1990, i smoked some cannabis, and had 2 visions- one of Jesus, and one of the devil. a psychiatrist said he thought the drugs had damaged me-i might have been spiked with lsd, or it might have been mixed into the cannabis. i believe it was the mental torture in the office that damaged me.
stil dont know who my dad is, but i accept i have schizophrenia. neil
I’d like to thank Cynics Unlimited so much for giving me the chance to tell my story, because since i did, my mind feels free. I don’t know if i’m right or wrong about the above, but ive been living in confusion, pain and identity crisis for 17 years, i think what they did to me was satanic. ive thought about suicide numerous times, and felt powerless and unable to stand up for myself, like a zombie on medication, and have made numerous mistakes since.
on the other hand, while in rehab, i saw a divine aura around a robin hopping across the grass, and now dont wonder if there is a God, but know there is. many scientists perceive this as madness.
thankyou Cynics Unlimited,
neil