In September 2004 the Learning Channel ran a feature on the Duggars, a family that at the time had fourteen children. In the four years since, the Duggars have added three more children to their brood (and expect another in January 2009) and appeared on a number of other television shows, including one as far away as Italy . The family has captured the popular imagination, bringing on themselves praise, criticism, and plain interest.
First of all, who are the Duggars? The family consists of a father and mother – Jim-Bob and Michelle – and ten sons and seven daughters. The children range in age from one year to twenty and include two sets of twins. All the kids’ names begin with the letter “J:” the name of one girl, “Jinger,” is pronounced as “ginger” and does not rhyme with “singer” or “ringer.” The entire clan lives in Springdale , Arkansas , where the children are home schooled by their mother. Though on account of their family size they are often thought to be either Mormon or Catholic, the Duggars are actually Baptist. They do not attend a church in the community however but practise what is called “home churching,” with religious services held in their own house.
Michelle and Jim-Bob did not originally set out to, as one commentator put it, create their own baseball team. When they first married, Michelle took the birth control pill. They had their first child, a boy named Joshua, four years later. Afterwards Michelle went back on the pill but got pregnant anyway and miscarried. Upset, she and her husband came to believe that the pill was actually an abortifacient and had caused the loss of the fetus. They then resolved to let God decide the size of their family and stopped using contraception altogether. The rest is history: they now have a total of seventeen children, one more on the way, and two dogs.
The Duggars are part of a trend called the Quiverfull movement. Members of this movement have, like the Duggars, decided to leave their family size up to God and thus avoid contraception. They oppose induced abortion as well. They cite the Bible’s Psalm 127:3-5 in support of their choice: “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” They have sometimes been described as more Catholic than the Catholics, as the Catholic Church, while at least in theory against artificial birth control, allows so-called natural family planning, which Quiverfull adherents also reject. The only protection from pregnancy “full quiver” women would get is that afforded by breastfeeding, which is not foolproof past about six months (Michelle Duggar herself mentions in an article in Parents Magazine that she was pregnant and nursing a child at the same time). The Quiverfull, most of whom live in the United States , are not a denomination in themselves but generally belong to various Protestant fundamentalist churches.
I have read a great deal about the Duggars and watched them on television. My feelings about this family generally run on the neutral to positive side. Though I myself would not have seventeen kids, what is right for me might be wrong for somebody else and vice versa. The family seems to be very close and loving and the children extremely well-behaved without being “little robots.” Their closeness is shown by the fact that even when they moved to a larger house the girls and boys still chose to stay in a single room respectively. The Duggars are not collecting any money from the public purse (I am not against welfare per se in the case of, for instance, a mother of preschoolers who leaves an abusive husband and cannot pay for day care, but I do consider it irresponsible to deliberately have children while on social assistance). Nor despite their religious fundamentalism are the Duggars “holier than thou:” for example, in her Parents article Michelle states that her life is not for everyone.
Some things I am less comfortable with about the Duggars: their “buddy system,” whereby an older child is given responsibility for dressing, feeding and otherwise helping a younger sibling. Some believe the job of taking care of the kids should fall to the parents themselves, not a brother or sister. In theory, I agree – though the Duggar “buddies” claim not to mind this role and though such a situation could arise in a two-child family as well. I also wonder whether the parents have enough time to spend with each individual child. Of course one might state that what the children lack in parental attention they compensate in time with their siblings. Moreover, look at how many kids in small families today are starved for their parents’ attention because the latter are too busy doing other things or are spaced out on alcohol or drugs. I am not saying that the buddy system or the reduction in one-on-one time is wrong; perhaps I am just projecting what I would want for myself and my own family.
How do I see the Duggar family theologically? Within my own denomination, there is a group of Lutherans known as the Laestadians (after their founder, a man named Lars Laestadius) who eschew modern forms of birth control. Most of them live in Scandinavia, particularly Finland . They frequently have big families, sometimes over ten children. Interestingly, Laestadian children appear to be very well-adjusted. A study in the journal Acta Paediatrica found that Finnish children in 10+ families had a lower rate of psychological problems than their peers with fewer siblings. Thus a large family size per se does not seem to hurt children.
As I stated above, the Duggars and other Quiverfull followers cite Psalm 127:3-5 for their decision to shun contraception. I personally don’t believe that verse necessarily implies that all couples should choose to have as many children as they are physically capable of having. It must be remembered that in Biblical times children were prized for reasons typically not held today. More children guaranteed the survival of the nation of Israel at a time when war, famine and epidemic diseases threatened its numbers. In a largely agricultural society, kids also could contribute to the family economically by doing chores on a farm. Some pro-choice advocates point out that the Bible never mentions induced abortion directly. However, this does not mean that the Israelites condoned the procedure. Rather, abortion probably was not widely practised by Hebrew women because they had great motivation to have children. (Note: in my opinion the Bible on its own can’t really be used to justify either a pro-life or pro-choice position.)
While I myself would never follow the Duggars’ path, I respect them. I find it ironic that some people who talk about a woman’s right to have an abortion, use birth control, not have children at all, etcetera, are not always so tolerant of women who make choices like Michelle Duggar’s. From what I hear about the Duggars and read about big families in journals like Acta Paediatrica, the Quiverfull folks aren’t spawning a bunch of delinquents or psychopaths. Their children in some ways seem to enjoy more love, structure and concern than average from their families. So I think the Duggars and the Quiverfull movement as a whole are a force for good in today’s society.
I love the Duggar family. They are trophies of God’s wonderful grace. And God has set them in the public eye because they are witness’ of His abiding undefiled love. People who have been priviledged to be taken to heaven by the Lord Jesus Christ and brought back to tell the world what they saw, felt, smelt, and experienced; these people saw whole families on a beautiful hillside full of the joy of the Lord, free from Satan and sin. I expect the Duggars will soon experience this reality of heaven because Jesus is coming back to rapture His people out of the earth very, very, soon before the tribulation of great pain and the days of desperate sorrows.
Well, I don’t really regard the Duggars from a theological perspective; I just feel that if they want to have all the children they are capable of having and can afford it, then they shouldn’t be criticized any more than, say, a deliberately childless couple or a gay couple.
About the rapture, did you read my essay on the end of the world? It’s also on Cynics Unlimited. We might differ in our religious views, but I’d be interested to see your comments on it.
After watching, it seems though the Michelle “gets off” on the attention that the new babies bring. I hope her uterus falls out.
Don’t worry; she’ll have undergone menopause before that happens!
i do not agree on the buddy system that michelle and jim have for their kids, i bet if she had to do all those things for the little ones her self, she would not be so anxious to have sex as often if she does not believe in birthcontrol, another thing ok i understand not wanting to use contraceptives but my god are those people having sex every night? seems a bit disgusting to me
The Duggar Family are doing everything RIGHT because they are 100% commited to Jesus Christ. Jim Bob and Michelle are teaching their children priceless life lessons. The entire family works hard and the children are happy, healthy, and a pleasure to observe on their Television series. All children need to learn proper authority and all children need to learn to work. This family is a joy to watch and learn from.
Callie don’t get so smug on the sex; afterall God created sex with boundaries. Sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman transfers demons between each person; now the devil has a foothold in those lives and Satan’s passionate driven purpose is to bring misery, sorrows, deception, unstable emotions and finally to destroy all that he can in hell for eternity. I am very impressed with the Duggars for teaching their children that pure, undefiled sex is to be saved for marriage. In all of the many sickening sexual perversions in this world praise the Lord that He has brought this precious family to the entire world to show forth His Holy standards for life in a family that belongs to Him!!!!!
I believe this is a calling from the Lord, just as celibacy. The Lord is raising up children for specific purposes and the Duggar kids have a calling, this is why they live the way they do. I am happy that there are people who are willing to obey the Lord’s calling and they are faithful with there task. These kids will grow up and be ready for the specific work the Lord has for them.
Amen Crystal R. I believe it and I believe it for my own children and grandchildren. Praise the Name of the Lord God Jesus Christ. He has determined to manifest Himself to the world and He does so through His people. Praise the Lord for the Duggars, Praise the Lord that He is not willing that anyone should perish in a devil’s Hell, but that all should come to repentance. Jesus said to the Religious crowd while He was on the earth, the publicans and the harlots believe and go first into heaven, you even saw this and still you do not believe Me. Religion will get you into hell; only Jesus Christ in your heart will get you into heaven. The Duggars are real people,loving, kind, humble, nonjudgmental, who have committed themselves to Jesus Christ and God has seen fit to manifest Himself through them to the world.
1 Peter 2:11-12 Dearly Beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lust, which war against the soul: Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the DAY OF VISITATION!!!!
Thank you all for your comments. To Callie, yes, I’m not 100% comfortable with the buddy system the Duggars have, but the reality is that even in a two-child family one child can end up “taking care” of a younger sibling. And the Duggar children don’t seem to mind what to others might seem like an excessive closeness; for instance, apparently even with a new house with a larger number of rooms they wanted to stay in the same room with the siblings of their own sex.
To Donna and Crystal R, I respect the Duggars’ religious beliefs even if I don’t share all of them. As I write in a later essay, I’m probably only going to have one child. For example, I don’t interpret the verse “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord,” as meaning that every family should have as many children as they are physically capable of having. But if the Duggars interpret that verse differently, then they should follow it according to their own interpretation.
what the hell is wrong with you people? where the hell do you come from?
Hi Jimminy Bib Bob, I come from earth and I got here the same way you did. We are in the last days on earth and God is bringing His people into the public eye so they can show forth His ways as far as love, gentleness, kindness, humility, purity, holiness, etc. Jesus is not willing that anyone perish in a Devil’s hell and Jesus is your only way into heaven. You don’t have to fulfill God’s purpose in your life by having alot of children; all people are special and each person has their own calling and purpose of God on this earth. Seek the Lord with all your heart and you will find God’s purpose for your life just as the Duggars and many other people of God have. God Bless you and hold on to God’s unchanging hands because you are going to need Him in the coming days of great sorrows for the unrepentant and great glory for God’s people. Jesus is bringing in the last harvest of souls before the end of all lust, corruption, and all sins of all kind; and praise the Lord Jesus Christ, Satan and his agenda will be put to death forever. Jesus Himself will soon throw Satan and Satan’s demons into the lake of fire where they will be tormented forever and ever and ever and ever, etc. Satan is a loser and his kingdom is coming to an end; I am a Christian because I was well qualified for the salvation of Jesus Christ, Praise the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ who loves us with pure undefiled love.
I had not heard of the quiver movement until reading this article. I live in East Tenn and have encountered families like the Duggars. I always wondered what they are. I’m African-American and they do appear to be distrustful of people who don’t look like them. I wonder if that is part of their religion and beliefs.
Sometimes in a strick religious movement it can deteriate to legalism which can be intrepeted as distrust. Also being protective and following God’s truths can also come across as distrustful but the Duggars are not legalistic. The Duggars have a geniune pure love for all and they are great parents because they follow God’s plan for the family on earth.
To Donna and Colleen,
Thank you for your responses.
I haven’t heard anything of the Duggars being racist. In fact, they once appeared on the Montel Williams Show. Of course this doesn’t prove 100% they’re not racist, but I think if they were hardcore White Supremacists they wouldn’t go on a show hosted by a Black man.
Again, I don’t know this 100%, but some religious movements have a distrust of what they call “the world.” An example: the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Now I have not heard of the Duggars doing so, but some other quiverfull groups who belong to specific denominations may be like that.
Am I the only one who wonders if these people have ever heard of over population?? Earth’s population is at a critical mass! We are sucking the life out of our mother – the Earth.
When God said “go forth & multiply,” I’m almost sure he didn’t mean indefinitely. We HAVE multiplied to the extreme.
Also, there are millions of orphans in Africa that need homes, parents, food & love. Many also in the US.
God didn’t send all those children to them. Sex did. If they really believe in Jesus & living a Christian life, why don’t they offer a home to some of those in desperate need.
Please, this talk of mother earth!! The earth is the Lord’s. Sin in the hearts of evil men and women and Satan have caused the havic being unleashed on earth. The Duggars are a family who trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and are committed to Him in the ways of their lives and the lives of their children. They are not obligated to seek outside their God given convictions in order to add to their family. No doubt they pray for the nations as God commands in His Word. This family has been set forth to the public so that a fallen, sin sick world can see for themselves that God’s ways work and God’s ways of righteousness are for the good of sinfull mankind. We as a Nation are in trouble with Almighty God, but He does love us and He gave His pure sinless life’s blood so that no one perish in a Devil’s Hell. I am extremely grateful for the Duggar family because of their unwavering commitment to Jesus Christ.
To Diane and Donna, thank you for contributing to the debate. First, with regard to the overpopulation argument, I do care about the environment, but I’m a little sceptical of overpopulation scaremongering. As I wrote in a previous essay here, “The End of the World,” there have been a number of predictions that, for example, overpopulation would cause global famines killing millions, plummeting life spans in the United States, etc. None of these prophecies materialized. All this makes me regard some of the overpopulation-related predictions in the same light as the Jehovah Witnesses’ tales of an upcoming Armageddon.
Regarding adoption, I admire people who adopt. In fact, if I choose to expand my family, I will most likely do so through adoption rather than having another biological child. However, I wonder if some of the people who exhort the Duggars to adopt have ever adopted children themselves. I think if you are going to tell somebody to do something, you should do it yourself. It’s kind of the same logic as “darers always go first.” Here’s an example: an ex-boyfriend of mine told me that I should spend the money I used for my cats (which was not very much; I always shopped at a discount pet store) on starving children in the Third World. I told him to get back to me when he used the money he spent on cigarettes and marijuana on needy children. I told him that until he did so, he really had no moral prerogative to tell me how to spend my money.
Nonetheless, I think I might have even greater respect for the Duggars if they did adopt. But I withhold the moral right to tell them what to do.
Emilia liz, overpopulation is not scaremongering, it is a fact. Why do you suppose China has imposed a one child policy? I could write a book supporting this, but that is not the topic of these discussions.
And yes, I have sponsored children in Africa & have done so for over 20 years. Since I am not a motherly type & would not adopt, this is my way of contributing. One couple bringing a giant tribe into the world is really irresponsible in my opinion.
Diane, I won’t argue with you about overpopulation because I know it’s hard to argue with true believers about any cause, whether it’s overpopulation, the notion that Armageddon is around the corner, the belief that the Earth was created 6,000 years ago, etcetera. I think I wasted too many afternoons debating with the Jehovah Witnesses on whether the world was going to end in the next ten years (this was back in 1994, so I guess I won that argument), so I won’t engage in a similar conversation.
I still hold to the view that unless you adopt children yourself, you’re really not in any position to criticize others for not doing so. Yes, I think it’s generous of you to sponsor children in Africa. But it’s not the same as adopting a child. I’m not saying what you do is better than adopting, not as good as adopting, etcetera. It’s just not identical.
I’ll give you another analogy. I don’t feel capable of adopting a mentally disabled or psychiatrically disturbed child (one with a purely physical handicap would be OK). So I wouldn’t, because I know myself well enough to know I couldn’t handle such a situation. On the other hand, I can’t tell any prospective adoptive parents who turn down an opportunity to adopt a child with Down syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, etcetera because I wouldn’t knowingly adopt such a child myself. Otherwise I would be hypocritical.
About your feeling that “bringing a giant tribe into the world” is irresponsible, then don’t do it. It’s like the anti-abortion crowd: if they (at least the women among them) really feel the procedure is immoral, then don’t have one. But that’s your own choice, not others’.
Wow…interesting debating. Personally, I think the Duggars have had enough children. They should have stopped when they they needed the older children to step in and raise the new babies they keep having. My friend who was visiting her family in Arkansas this summer saw the Duggars at Silver Dollar City and said that for two hours Michelle Duggar sat down and didn’t lift a finger for any of her children, leaving that duty to her older female children. What message do you think these little children get when mommy and daddy have yet another baby….is it “why do they want another baby, aren’t I good enough”?
As I’ve said before, someday some Psychologists are going to make a lot of money on these kids….and I hope I’m wrong.
Now as I mentioned in my essay, I am not completely with the “buddy system” the Duggars have. Still, I can think of worse ways in which parents treat their children, and I can imagine a “buddy system” even with a two-child family. I also don’t believe the kids necessarily think that their parents don’t think they’re “good enough” when they have another baby. Then again, I think psychologists can make money out of children no matter their family situation (one-child, two-child, thirteen-, etc.).
Diane,
You are not alone. Many of us upon seeing “The Duggers” were immediately horrified by their lack of regard for the environment that sustains us all. Overpopulation is an ongoing problem. Anyone who has been to Africa as I have has seen the result of too many people trying to survive off of too few resources. And US children cause much more environmental damage than developing work children, of course.
It appears to me that Quiverfulls are just another example of patriarchal anthropocentric right-wing fundamentalist Christianity which is surprisingly prevalent in the United States. There seems to be an underlying “race war” motive as well, which is not surprising seeing as how racism seems to be alive and well in the US. Putting “The Duggars” on television is only adding to the global perception of America as a place full of close-minded redneck consumers who’s children can’t find England on a map.
You are full of crap!!!!!!!!! The problem with this world is a total disregard for the commandments of Almighty God!!!!!!!! The Duggars are a wonderful example of how God bless’ those who serve and honor Him. They are a pure delight. Their children are healthy, happy, and productive citizens of the USA. You are caught up in the lies of Satan and on your way to hell. Jesus loves us all and He gave His life to save us and to restore us to righteousness and holiness. I am totally thankful for the Duggars and their God given and ordained influence on the world. Children are an heritage of the Lord; which one of them would you send back? God has planned for everyone of them and I am thankful the Duggars have obeyed the Lord in having as many as God would give them. If you have a problem with that take it up with God!!!!!!!!! Jesus is returning very, very, very, soon and this world will not be worthy of God’s people and the whole Duggar clan will be in heaven to partake of the wonders of heaven where there will be no sin or sinners. Praise the Lord God for His precious Blood that cleanses from all sin.
Donna:
Does that mean that the starving Christian Denka in Southern Sudan (currently being enslaved by Islamic Arabs) are not blessed by God? How about the impoverished Orthodox Christians of Russia and Eastern Europe? How about the Christian Indians being forced to convert to Hinduism?
Why does Jesus only like Midwestern Americans?
Donna, Donna…calm down. Noone here has said that they don’t believe that children are a gift from God. I think rather that we are concerned that this family is acting rather irresponsibly in having SO many children. My biggest concern is with their older children raising the younger children. They can call it a “buddy-system” all they want but the truth of the matter is that they aren’t “buddying”, they’re “parenting”.
Your “full of crap” comment stunned me. I hope you don’t talk that way in public as you profess your Christianity. It doesn’t sound very nice. Also, when you tell someone they are “on their way to hell” as you told Cara, you might want to remember Matthew 7:1 “do not judge others lest ye be judged” and Matthew 7:2 “for in the same way you judge others you will be judged”.
And, Cynapse….point well taken. We are ALL blessed…not just the Red States.
Thank you Cara.
Western civilization is currently expanding into a world culture increasingly bound to technologies that set us apart from the natural world. Despite all the wonders that this civilization has wrought, our behavior is systematically polluting our planet and dehumanizing our lives even as it prolongs them. Perhaps it is time to remember that we can survive only as long as our planet survives.
Suffocating the Earth under an overload of humanity will undoubtedly bring about our demise.
Donna, could I ask you a couple of questions? 1) You wrote that you, yourself, were “well-qualified” for salvation and thus for admission into heaven. What qualifications must one have (or obtain) in order to avoid the Devil’s hell? 2) I don’t understand the connection between legalism and parental distrust. Could you explain what you meant by that? Were you misunderstood in terms of the way you brought up your own kids? Thanks, in advance; I know these are personal questions.
The Duggars are an inspiration for all of us parents who are trying to raise their children in a Godly way. I watch the show and take pointers and encouragement, since the world is so ungodly. There really isn’t much support for those families trying to rely on God’s provision. We have had 4 children in 5 years and i have actually been scoffed at because of this. I as far as i know cannot have more due to very difficult pregnancies and 4 c-sections…but i would if i could!!!
I also encourage their supporters to pray for them and encourage them with your notes etc…
Thanks,
God Bless,
Missy (Proud Wife and Mommy to 4 gifts from God)
I think the Duggars are a great family (from what we see on TV). Their kids are very well behaved and polite.
I love their conservative values.
I also think the buddy system is great. To have older kids help with the younger kids seems very natural. Some of these parents today do not know the first thing about child rearing and couldn’t change a child’s outfit if they wanted to.
These kids will all make excellent parents with their vast experience of helping. None of them seem to be spoiled brats or self centered.
I think the family is great and we have 5 ourselves and want more.
Quiver full man.. Quiver full…. So many will live without a legacy.
Thank you to everyone for commenting. Just one note: I don’t think the Duggars are racist. After all, if they were, they wouldn’t have appeared on the Montel Williams Show.
I suppose my gist is that everybody should have as many (or few) children as they want as long as they are able to handle those they have (for instance, I don’t think people on welfare should deliberately have kids until they’re no longer dependent on the taxpayers). So I don’t mind Chris and Missy having all the children I want, as long as I can have my maximum of two children (I have one daughter; I may adopt one day).
It is statistically likely that at least one or two of their children is gay.
How much love and support will that child get when their parents find out?
I take it that the Duggar parents probably consider homosexuality a sin – but sometimes people can surprise you: they just might accept a gay child. Or maybe they’ll still disapprove of his/her lifestyle but still love him/her as a person. And sometimes so-called “liberals” aren’t as accepting as they appear. For example, liberal “saint” Katherine Hepburn apparently called homosexuality a “social evil.” And some people who might accept homosexuality in theory but still be upset at having a gay or lesbian child. So I think it remains to be seen how the Duggars react if one of their children turns out to be gay.
Human overpopulation is a problem. the Duggars are a problem. Whats even better is that their daughters will never get to have full lives because the quiverfull movement clings to the idea that women are subservient to men and are meant to stay in the home. They are brainwashed, horrible human beings that set too much in store in “Jesus Christ” and have brought up a great many kids who, if they in turn had even 1/2 as many kids, would overwhelm the population. If everyone believed in the quiverful beliefs, the world would end. No thats not an exaggeration, there is only so much room on the planet. The Duggars are pychopaths. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS HAVING TOO MANY CHILDREN. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS HAVING “too many flowers”(A quote from Michelle Duggar was “Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers). A garden has natural ways of thinning the numbers. The roots have chemicals in them that prevent others from existing. I can’t wait for the first kid to lose his mind due to all the psycho brainwashing and he ends up killing the whole family. These people don’t seem to understand that yes, having 17 children may seem ok for their small lives, however, if they truly belive what they do is right, then they believe everyone else should be that way if they were to live “correctly”. Don’t they understand how horrible that is? And if god exists, HE DOES CARE IF YOU DO OR DO NOT HAVE KIDS! HE DOESNT CARE IF YOU GO TO CHURCH. HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT A SINGLE THING YOU DO.
I bet at least one of their kids is gay. I wonder what they will do to him. Actually, no, the kid would kill himself to prevent himself from committing a sin against god. Look out duggar kids!
Also, I bet they would freak out if a daughter married a black kid.
Gwen,
Psychopaths? Horrible human beings? Hmmmmmmmmmm You sound a little unbalanced. Although I agree with some of the things you say in your letter I do have to say that I don’t believe that these are horrible human beings. I wrote a couple of entries on this blog earlier because I also have some issues with the way the Duggars live. I was completely shocked when I was recently reunited with one of my best friends from college only to find out that she has been living like the Duggars for over 20 years. I had so many questions for her and she was so sweet to share what her life has been like all these years. So much of the “Quiverful” movement and other movements like this are centered around homeschooling. This is where so many families meet and where some marriages are (sort of) arranged. These children don’t go to college because the parents don’t want them to be exposed to a less godly life (c’mon we all remember our college days). I could go on and on but don’t have the time right now, however please feel free to ask any questions and I’ll try to answer those that I can. I will leave you with one very, very unsettling fact and that is that there is quite a bit of incest that runs through these families. I’m not saying that it does with the Duggars, just that it exists. My friend through her search for perfection as a mother and a wife has left this life along with her family. There is a lot of guilt that she feels. It will take a lot of time for her to heal. Spending this time with her made me understand this movement even more. It also makes me more frightened of it.
Thank you both for your comments.
I think sometimes observers of the Duggars fall into two extremes: that they’re the embodiment of holiness itself or a ticking time bomb where one of them will “explode.” I think the truth is somewhat in between.
About the girls being brainwashed, there was a special in which many of the girls did have future career goals. One girl wanted to be a midwife, for example. And if they choose to be full-time homemakers, I think that is a respectable life course as well (though one I personally would never take).
Regarding what would happen if one of the children turned out to be gay, I made a comment on that in my last post preceding this one. About a daughter marrying a Black man, I have no idea what her parents’ reaction would be, so I could not say. I don’t have evidence either way. Nor, I think, do you.
The Duggar parents were at one time trying to take the correct path of dotting their i’s and crossing their t’s and following the bibilical word. It is a hard path to stay on, and make that change daily in their lives and children in today’s world.
But truth be told they have put their lives in front of the media, where Jim Bob, a politican at heart, likes to be. They take free trips offered by the media to promote their book and way of life. They do take handouts and promotional incentives.
They do not allow their children to watch much tv and monitor computer time.
But they do not care if you or your children watch their TV show, and Good Morning show appearances, and buy a magazine because their on the cover. They do not care that YOUR children are then exposed to the commericalization.
They have fallen into the greed, greed and greed world. I saw it clearly when Michelle appeared on GMA show and the host wanted to talk about motherhood and Michelle kept putting her book up in front of the cover while in NYC saying all her book signing dates, where to buy the book, Book, Book, Book. I will tell you everything if you buy the book.
A true christian, which they are very few, Mother Teresa turned down beds for the nuns and helpers, we need food and clothes for the poor, we do not need fancy beds.
It is extremly hard to follow the biblical ways truly. I am wondering in the big clean perfect world of the Duggars house they are willing to all let go, to help the starving families in the world. Would they be willing to sell some of there real estate, car dealerships, downsize to a smaller house like they once had and not sell their donated grand piano? My educated guess, is no. Me, Myself, and I are the Duggars, like every other person that falls for the world of Marketing and promotional incentives…. What are they truly teaching and promoting?
I grew up in a quiverful family and feel for the most that it was a positive experience. I think my parent’s convictions about birth control came from the late evangelist John Rice, but I am not sure.
There can be a lot said both pro and con about large families. The main thing is to try to not get too judgmental about other people’s reproductive choices. There may well come a time when reproductive choice may become more restrictive in the uSA as it is in China. Could happen and it won’t be the end of the world.
I have to comment on several different aspects of this particular debate.
First off, I have to say that while I don’t share the Duggar’s beliefs 100% (I do share a lot of them), I totally respect them for having strong convictions and living according to those convictions. so many people these days espouse strong beliefs but do not live their life in accordance to those beliefs. Basically, people have a tendency to talk “big game”.
As for the “buddy system”, I’ve seen what I consider to be a lot of overreaction to it. I have 4 children and, while I don’t have an official “buddy system”, my oldest child does end up helping out with the younger children quite a bit and as the younger ones get older, they will have to help me with my youngest daughter. That’s just the way it is in larger families. It comes a sa necessity sometimes and it doesn’t hurt the older childre to help out. It teaches responsibility and it fosters a bond between the siblings.
I don’t see the Duggars as the “embodiment of all that is holy” but i also do not see them as horrible people making horrible choices. They are people doing what they feel is best – and they aren’t asking the taxpayers to foot the bill. They aren’t hurting anyone and the kids all seem healthy, happy and well-adjusted so why is it anyone’s place to say they’re wrong? I know if someone questioned my right to decide to have my own 4 children – which is a lot by some people’s standards – I’d be tempted to punch them right in the nose (lol).
Dear Jocelyn,
I agree with much of what you have said, even though I only have one child and probably will have no more (I’m looking into adoption, but given my age, civil status and the expense of adoption it may not happen). The Duggars made their choice; I made mine.
Exactly, Emilia. Whether people choose to have no children, 1 chil or a housefull isn’t anyone’s business but their own. I wish you luck.
I would agree with you – though I might have reservations in certain cases. For example, I don’t think people on welfare should deliberately try to conceive – if they can’t bring up children without the aid of the state, they shouldn’t have them. Also, if people have trouble handling, not necessarily financially but emotionally, the children they already have they might think twice about having more. For example, I was a member of a board, called Gentle Christian Mothers, where women who had sometimes two or more “special needs” kids – by this I don’t mean kids in a wheelchair but in many cases children with severe behavioural problems – sometimes deliberately went about conceiving more. It seems that maybe if they can’t handle the children they already, they might think twice about adding more to the mix and focus on those they already have.
I believe that wanting to have children is very natural and that people don’t make their decision whether or not to have them based on how fits into their financial picture. The desire to have children is emotional (or possibly an “oops” occurance). So if a struggling young couple who are doing all the right things…working, paying bills on time want to add a baby to the family but can’t quite cut it financially…should they just say “let’s wait until we are better off financially”. Maybe, but the truth is that the woman has that biological clock that ticks louder year after year and if they wait too long it will be even more difficult for them to conceive.
The Duggars aren’t trying to fill a void (they don’t have one) and I doubt that it is an emotional yearning that they feel to keep reproducing. I understand their religious convictions but as a Christian I believe that they have taken scripture to an extreme. I think that God gave us brains and common sense. Having 18 children in one family seems very extreme. I know they don’t think they are hurting anyone but just imagine the carbon footprint that Jim-Bob and Michelle are leaving behind. It is astronomical!
To Lisa, I’m not saying that you have to be a millionnaire to have children. I don’t have a problem with a young couple who as you say, are working and paying bills on time having children even if they’re not quite financially in the clear. Nor do I have a problem with, say, a woman with two children who is escaping an abusive husband going on welfare until she can get her life in order and find a job. I do draw the line, however, when a couple (or single person) on the public dole deliberately brings a child into the world and expects me the taxpayer to support them.
Regarding the Duggars, I would never follow in their footsteps, and I don’t agree with everything they do, but as long as they’re footing their own bill I don’t really have a problem with them.
Emilia Liz,
I don’t disagree with you. I do have a problem as have others on this site with the result on this earth with too many people. My last entry is the first time I’ve even commented on the subject although I do have some strong views on this. Everyone has a carbon footprint, which is greenhouse gas emissions an individual leaves behind in his lifetime either directly or indirectly. Bringing so many children into this world is only making the problem worse because they now are responsible for 18 others’ carbon footprints. I’m on a Climate Change foundation and this is a very serious issue.
Dear Lisa,
Thank you for responding. I’m kind of sceptical of overpopulation hysteria: as you can see in my essay “End of the World,” a number of dire predictions have been made about overpopulation causing an impending apocalypse – and most of these predictions have failed spectacularly (in particular those of Paul Ehrlich, author of The Population Bomb). Still, I would state that if every woman (or couple; obviously Jim Bob Duggar had something to do with the Duggar family) had 18 children or even 10 children, that would be something to be concerned about in today’s world. However, it seems that now women around the world are choosing to have fewer children. In fact, in some countries the birth rate is below replacement level. Speaking as a woman who has only one child myself, and who if I do choose to expand my family will most likely do so through adoption, I can see why many women aren’t choosing to have large families nowadays. Many of us want to work outside of the home, or we feel it is better to focus on a few children individually rather than a large number of them, or we don’t want to be pregnant all the time. That’s not to mention the financial implications of a large family.
So I don’t really think the Duggars per se are going to have a huge impact on the population in the overall scheme of things.
Well personally, I think 18 children is extreme and there is something to be said for the problems this creates. Granted, they SEEM to be nice people, but as a previous poster said, they are good at exploiting their lifestyle and profiting from it. What my issue is, as with all religious zealots, is the apparent imbalance and fanaticism. I also have concerns with their belief that a man has “authority” over the women in his life. Typical patriarchial thinking, keep her pregnant and barefoot, give me a break! That will be the day any male has authority over me, I am a human being and thus entitled to be my own authority. And Michelle keeps churning them out. They almost seem cult like to me, and that is scary….
Families like the Duggars and the Gosselins leave the amount of children they have in God’s hands. But they don’t have a problem with taking the numerous handouts they get and all the attention they get with their t.v. show and website. What these people do is irresponsible. Unless one can afford to have this many children, they should not be relying on others to help them. I have no sympathy for them. They use the media to provide not God. I, personally, have a problem with religion as it is manipulated to one’s likes. But that’s just my opinion. My point is that having that many children is just wrong especially when the parent’s can’t afford them.
To Charlotte and Lori,
Thank you both for writing in. Sorry to be so late in getting back!
To Charlotte first, no, I would not wish to be under the “authority” of any man. I know the idea of a woman being “submissive” to her man is anathema to most feminists. However, one benefit of living in a free and democratic society is that we can make choices in our lives which others might not approve. For instance, some people might not like the fact that I use birth control, only intend to have one biological child, etc. I don’t begrudge their opinion, but the fact is that they have to “live” with my choices, which might differ from theirs. So even though I would not want to live the life Michelle Duggar does, I concede she has a right to it.
To Lori, the difference between the Duggars and, say, a couple or individual who deliberately has more children while in welfare is that I’m not being compelled to give money to the Duggars. If I don’t want to help support them, I don’t have to. On the other hand I’m forced to subsidize the lives of people who purposely have children while calling on the taxpayers to support them whether they want to or not.
A few years ago I saw something about this huge family, not sure if it was the Duggers, but I think it was. Their oldest daughter had been kicked out of the house for ‘behavior unsavory for the younger kids’ and ‘bad choices’. She showed up at a picnic they were having and she was toting along her black child! Unsure if she had married the father, but it became instantly obvious what the ‘unsavory behavior’ and ‘bad choices’ to which they were referring. That was the only time I have seen any mention of that older daughter or the mixed race grandchild.
I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the Duggars. I had heard of this family (the one whose oldest daughter was kicked) in the context of a discussion about the Duggars, but it was clearly not their daughter.
Hi, Suze. I think the family you’re thinking about is the Jeub family. You can look them up on the Web.
My parents had 3 children. Me, my sister 10 years later, and then my brother. I had to raise my sister because my mom had problems taking care of 2 children 12 months apart, so this idea that the “buddy” system is only in large families is ridiculous. However I don’t resent it, my sister and I are closer than most siblings can ever imagine, and I am grateful that I was allowed to be such a big part of her life. I only wish I had been able to be as big a part in my brother’s life as well.
Lori,
Please name on single handout the Duggars have taken that hasn’t been freely given by someone who loves them? Also, did you ever consider the possibility they are using TV to spread the good word about God and not to make money?
Gosh… Im so glad I live in Australia where we can have as many kids as we like ,with help from the state, and do whatever we like because there really is enough to go ’round., We have excellent free healthcare for our citizens and very strict gun laws and also hardly any of the extreme religous factions the US has….
Incidently, We get the Duggars show here on cable and they seem alot more stable minded than most of the posters here!
they are psycho
psycho
psycho
psycho
psycho
they watch you when you are sleeping
Jenny,
Don’t you Australian’s have any “Australian” shows that you can watch instead..being that you dislike American life so much..you Australians sure can’t stay away from American TV shows! Goes to show that you dont have anything decent enough to watch in your country.
You better believe they’re holier than thou. Too holy to be around non-whites, especially those of other religions. Imagine someone leaving a little black or Hispanic child on their doorstep??? Would that not be a “blessing” from God? Not for them, I’m sure.
I don’t think there’s any proof the Duggars are racist. Of course I don’t know what goes on in their minds, but to my knowledge there’s nothing to indicate that they would be. Even if I might not agree with everything they do, I don’t have any indication they’re racist.
To Jillian Beth, Can you give me any proof that the Duggars are racist? If you can give me something convincing, then I might consider the fact they are. But so far I’ve seen absolutely no indication the Duggars are racist.
I love the Duggar!!
Ilike them because they live the way I do.
When thy come on their children aren’t rude and disobedient like the roloff kids.
They can go in a store and they are so well behaved.
When you see a little brat come in the store and start cry and stuff you say the need to control their chid. The duggar on the other hand they don’t have to do that. The stqarted them from babys abou t obedience.
I’m only 15 but soething they do i do think I whould want to but i don’t see a problem with haveing a buddy system. Ya’ll need t o stop hating on th duggars. Your just jealous because they got alot of thing going for them.